Did I MS Something?


Yes this is a wonky gate and reminds me of my wonky gait


The change was sudden, my walking seemed weak

I noticed some days it was a struggle to speak


Touching a fork or spoon sent chills through my veins

And the chilly fridges in supermarket aisles didn’t feel the same


Confusion welcome in, I’m lost as to what these ailments are

Been walking for miles, what a day to leave the bloody car


An elderly couple, “yes they will help,” as my walking it slowed

But they passed, carried on, little interest they showed


Workman wearing high-vis stood at the lights

I staggered over, begged them to help with my plight


My mind started racing, footsteps had slowed

The workmen had failed to abandon their loads


Mobile battery was dead I was way far from fine

As I spoke, they sniggered “it’s too early for wine.”


My mind was confused, my foot steps slowed

My mouth was dry and my speech slurred, when once it flowed


The dog walker’s pace quickened as she hurried on past

No time, too busy, like life, moving too fast


Shuffled past a bus, passengers stared at me

Why the fuck’s no one helping I ask painfully


Fast forward and I at the Doctor’s door

Still didn’t know what was happening when I fell to the floor


No alcohol had passed my lips as blood tests were taken

Questions followed from my Dr, she knew I was shaken


Referred to the hospital for further exams and tests

So very confused and sad but I was trying my best


Would somebody somewhere please help me again I begged

The eyes studying me in the waiting room said I was society’s dregs


MRI, CAT scans, I kept hearing the word gait

Was this a gate in front of me or closing me in? “Answers! Can’t wait!”


Results are what I need and lumbar puncture’s imminent

Bowie’s Hunky Dory record’s my friend, the MRI I move into it


Listening to his music I felt free but trapped in this noisy machine

Find solace in his lyrics, and I know just what they mean


Bowie’s melting into my ears and coming out of my pores

Laying flat, fixed to a bed as Life on Mars soars


Magnets, alarms and sounds all around me

And still I lay there wondering what the hell it could be?


Skip forward a week and I’m sitting with the professor

He calms me and tells me the results, is this the de-stresser?


But the news wasn’t what I had wanted to hear

Diagnosis MS it soon became clear


The panic set in and I recalled all the stories

I’d heard from others who too were dealt such worries


Information, lots of it and I needed some answers

Was this the end of my life of festivals and dances?


As the months wore on I started to see things more clearly

That it was not the end just a change, so I felt much less weary


But don’t ever think I’m the same person as before

That time I fell in through my surgery’s door


I’m just more willing and determined to succeed

This disease won’t define me because I’m still me you see



Llewellyn-McKenzie Communications 2019 (c)